just one of the emo times...

dont read if u intend to have a good day ahead....may read after having a good day....haha
i really dun wanna write this down cuz i feel im writing BS in this blog, moreover like the title says, i dun really wan to express my feeling now. but, but, but, its 216 in the mornig, and i just finished playing ultimate alliance, ntg else to do.....dont wanna sleep yet...and no one to tok to...but thats not why im emo....i guess i am really just stupid...serious. again this post is about me and ntg else...so stop read....cuz i feel uncomfortable,, but i still wanna post...im indesicive..watver... and i kept thinking blos is to expres oneself/infotainment, so i think thats the reason why i finally post this.

liek the title...emo..i dun wanna feel it but i cant get away from it....it was caused by a single dream i had (well, counting today would be) 2 days ago. i dun wanna prolong this post by word visualizing my dream, but i'll summarize. it all begun so well and happy and warm and nice...and ended in such HORRIFIC UNPREDICTABLE CRAZY SAD moment...ok im exeggerating....but u get my poiint. i wish i havent had that dream....seriously...when i woke up...the very moment i woke up, i felt sumhow that it is better that the dream had come true so i dun have to hide it , but then part of myself dun wan to. feeling very miserable.

i mean, that dream really really reflect what is on my real world life, its like a butterfly effect(dunno if i use this correctly anot, but just pop out of my head and soudned nice)...like seeing the future of wat might happen if i choose that or this decision. and from that dream, it really scares me to where i shud be, be still or move along......such a dilemma huh...ntg new for me...
hmmm...im just so frustrated at myself....but what the heck....i learn this from a fren of mine...
life goes on~......but wat the heck....i dun wan to....im still learning...and its a hard hard phase...

so if ahyone manage to read till here...hope i dun spoil ur day or watsoever.....
i guess i will feell better now after expressing
i just wanna be happy....haivng good time with fren is happy, but i nid more....its all up to me...and i just couldnt find my way out yet...but im hangign on.....perhaps one day....light will shine upon my face...haha....i have to make myself happy sumhow...so saying these things actually (hmmm) helps...lol
alritee.....im not as tired but i will try to sleep now....
END~